


i almost had you

by tamagotchitadashi



Series: Kuroyaku Weekend [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 04:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11775879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamagotchitadashi/pseuds/tamagotchitadashi
Summary: They don't talk about the things that really matter.They don't talk about what they do to each other, what they are to each other, or anything like that. They don't talk about why they're doing it. They don't talk about their true feelings, even though every time Tetsurou looks at Yaku his heart feels like it's going to overflow with too much feeling, too many words that he can't say.





	i almost had you

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kuroyaku Weekend Day 1, prompt "Sound and Silence".

They don't talk about the things that really matter.

They don't talk about what they do to each other, what they are to each other, or anything like that. They don't talk about why they're doing it. They don't talk about their true feelings, even though every time Tetsurou looks at Yaku his heart feels like it's going to overflow with too much feeling, too many words that he can't say.

They don't talk about that one time Yaku called him daddy when they were too far gone, but instead just added it to the list of things they just do.

They talk so much, and don't really talk about anything at all.

When Tetsurou wakes up, his first thought is that he wishes that they were both still in bed together, with tangled legs and bodies pressed so close together that they were unsure where he ended and Yaku began.

But he's alone, and the other side of the bed is definitely dented, but cold. The blankets have been pulled back.

Has he left? Stupidly, Tetsurou feels... let down. Like he expects Yaku to stay or something. Like he expects Yaku to stay and talk about something meaningful to their "relationship", even.

Moments later, though, he hears the pitter-patter of soft feet across the landing, and relaxes. The door opens and two mugs are set on the bedside table.

Yaku slides back under the covers in nothing but his boxers and a shirt with a chemistry pun on it that was certainly not his (Oh fuck, his heart), and Tetsurou sets his head on his lap. "Hey," The brunet says as he cards his fingers through his friend-with-benefits' atrocious bedhead and it's almost tender, almost fond.

The gesture, the situation, all of it is so fond and domestic that it messes with both of their heads, and both of their hearts.

"Hey yourself," Tetsurou says back sleepily, with a yawn to accompany it. He leans in to the touch, but the hand draws away and he whines. It instead wraps around a steaming mug of black coffee.

"Why are all your cups so fucking stupid?" Yaku asks, almost affectionately, after taking a long sip from Hello Kitty's head. Tetsurou wriggles up, pressing almost too close to Yaku and reaching across him to get the Ocha Ken cup that absolute godsend Morisuke Yaku has filled with Tetsurou's personal favourite brew - tea with almost too much milk and sugar for it to be overpowering, but just enough that it isn't.

"Why are you so fucking stupid?" Tetsurou replies, which gets him a knee in the shin. You can already tell that this is a guy who prides himself on being classy and romantic. "Mean, Yakkun. You know you love me."

Yaku rolls his eyes, but Tetsurou thinks that he can almost see a slight flush on his friend with benefits' face. He downs the sugary concoction.

"Yeah, whatever. I have a lecture in." Yaku checks his phone, that rests on the beside table. This has become routine. He almost knows the black-haired boy's house like it's his own. "About an hour and a half, so I can't stay for long. Sorry."

Why has it become almost normal for them to stay with each other the morning after? It has to be because they're friends, of course, and not because of anything else.

Not on Yaku's part, at least. Tetsurou is almost positive.

"I'll make you breakfast after I've showered," Tetsurou offers, leaning over the shorter boy again to put his cup down. He rolls out of bed, and eyes the dent in his pillows that caused his incurable bed head as he grabs a clean pair of boxers from a drawer and heads towards the bathroom.

"Thank you!" Yaku calls, and Tetsurou can hear the sounds of the other boy getting up out of bed. They've become accustomed to their almost domestic life together, because more often than not they'll either end up waking up together either in his house or Yaku's dorm room.

They don't talk about why, because then they'd have to attempt to find out why sometimes, they don't even get sexual with each other. Sometimes, it's just easier to have someone to cuddle with or to wake up to. It's almost as if they're in an actual relationship.

But of course, that would only happen in their dreams. And they don't talk about their dreams.

After his shower, Tetsurou goes back into his (their?) bedroom to get dressed. Yaku is there, half dressed in a pair of those weird jean leggings he likes, a pair of socks, and his binder - a t-shirt with the middle finger cat on it in his hands, and his Adidas trainers he bought purely for the aesthetic are at his feet.

"Sure you can wear that to class?" Tetsurou asks, gesturing to the shirt, wandering around and picking out some random shirt from the floor (he's gross, but he's a college boy. It's a fair excuse.) and a pair of skinny jeans. Yaku shrugs, but he's smiling.

"I have this one, or I look like a clown and wear one of yours," He says.

"Less of a clown and more like a twink," The black-haired boy teases, and Yaku flings out a hand to hit him. He yelps, but laughs at the flush on the other boy's face. He almost wants Yaku to wear one of his shirts to class. He'll never admit it, but the idea almost... excites him.

He focuses on pulling on the too-tight jeans and tries to get his mind out of the gutter.

"What would that make you, then? If I'm a twink." Yaku still hasn't put the shirt on. The shirt he wore to sleep is close to him.

"A twunk," Comes the reply, "Like I'm pretty damn gay and whatever, sure. But also a hunk."

Yaku rolls his eyes. He puts the cat shirt down, and instead pulls on the one with the chemistry pun on it, and then starts lacing up his shoes like he didn't just cause Tetsurou to have a fucking heart attack. They're probably not going to talk about it.

Once done, he stands up and averts Tetsurou's eyes as he walks out, taking the mugs in his hand. They make an unsettling clinking sound. "I'll, uh, go downstairs."

Tetsurou almost feels like he's going to die.

But he blinks twice, and continues getting dressed as fast as he can so he can make them breakfast before Yaku has to leave.

Once dressed, he bounds down the stairs two-at-a-time like usual, spinning himself around by the banister and strolling into the kitchen, where Yaku is thoroughly washing the cups.

"How'd you feel about poached egg on toast?" Tetsurou asks, browsing the cupboards, fishing out a few slices of bread in a plastic bread bag thing, and setting it down on the counter as he goes to the fridge for butter and eggs.

"Sounds great."

The making of the meal takes about five minutes, and then they're plated up and placed in front of himself and Yaku on the coffee table in the conjoined living room.

The TV is on and playing the news, and the two of them don't talk much when eating apart from exchanging a few brief thoughts on the events playing out on the television. Aside from that, they just hear the clinking of forks against plates and the chirpy, almost irritating voice of the news anchor.

"Enjoying?" Tetsurou asks with a smile, once he's finished, watching Yaku wolf up the rest of the eggs on toast like he hasn't eaten in months.

"How are you so fucking good at cooking?" Yaku moans despairingly, fork at the ready to shove the last bit of toast into his mouth.

"It's just a simple meal, Yakkun," He laughs, and the brunet raises an eyebrow.

"Tetsurou, I could ruin cornflakes if I tried hard enough."

He laughs again, "I'm fairly sure Bo's done that. Do you remember when him and Suga put themselves in charge of making the cake for Sawamura's birthday last year?"

Yaku shudders at the memory, shuffling closer to the black-haired boy, "They managed to burn the jam and undercook the cake. Aren't you meant to put the jam in when the cake is out of the oven?"

Tetsurou nods solemnly, metaphorical hand over heart for that poor, poor cake. It had so much potential.

They stay on the sofa and talk over the TV for a while, before Yaku checks the time and sticks his tongue out at his phone. "I have to go. See you later, Tetsurou. And thank you for breakfast." He ruffles messy black hair and stands up.

Tetsurou stands up with him, puts a hand on his waist and lips on his cheek (he has to bend down quite a bit, but doesn't make a joke out of it this time. He's been kicked enough to know that that is not a good idea.). "Bye, Mori."

Yaku smiles, almost too big for his face, and pulls Tetsurou down by his shirt collar. They kiss, passionate as ever. Neither of them have ever been one to half-ass things, of course. Unless you consider all of their many almosts.

They pull away, and Yaku lets him go with a wave and a smile and a quiet "Love you, Tetsurou." over his shoulder.

Tetsurou flops onto the sofa when he's sure Yaku is gone out the door and screams.

 

x

 

Tetsurou thought he could cope. Tetsurou thought he could deal with all the not talking and just ignoring the elephant in the room and all the fucking almosts that he wishes had just happened.

But no. He can't cope, not at all. And he needs to talk to Yaku about it before he implodes.

They're going to talk about something important. They're actually going to talk.

Well. They are at some point, at least.

But it's been two weeks. They see each other basically every day, and Tetsurou almost can't bring himself to talk about it.

But today... today he could. He should. He has to.

They're sitting in the floor of some kid park near to their college, with Yaku sprawled in his lap. A fuck ton of their friends are there - Bokuto and Suga and Michimiya are messing around on the playground equipment, and Terushima is passed out on the web swing, with Daishou lying, close to sleep himself, on top of him. 

Daichi and Akaashi are sitting with icy cold cans of lemonade or something, back to most of the equipment and across from Tetsurou and Yaku, possibly only there so they can try and turn their backs from Suga trying to convince Bokuto to do a backflip off the climbing frame. They're exchanging conversation on something or other.

The whole lot of them may be acting drunk, but that's just them. A ten pack of something had been passed around, but it had been low in alcohol and they were small cans - definitely not enough to get them drunk, unless you are a lightweight, like Terushima.

"Tetsurou." Yaku wriggles in his lap and leans in close to whisper in his ear. Good god, Tetsurou is so goddamn gay. He's such a fucking twunk, "Tetsurou, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Yakkun. I'm okay." Why the fuck you lying? Why you always lying? Mhm, oh my god. Stop fucking lying.

"No, you're not." Big fierce brown eyes stare into his, and Tetsurou's heart is racing. "Do you want to come to my place? You've been looking sad from time to time a while now. Please, talk to me, Tetsurou." A hand cups his cheek. Everything feels tender. 

(Forget the almosts. They are going to be complete.)

"Yeah... yeah. Can we please go to yours?"

"Of course," Yaku smiles at him, a small and supportive smile - he doesn't like to show his teeth when smiling - and Tetsurou smiles back, tentative and soft and different to his usual grin. He's oblivious to how that smile softens Yaku around the edges. "A'ight, me and Kuroo are going! Bye guys, see you soon."

Yaku waves, once they're up off the floor, taking the other boy's hand. Michimiya lets out a low whistle, and Daishou snickers loudly, "Get some, Tetsu-chan!". Bokuto is hollering something unintelligible - nothing new there - and Daichi cracks a grin and has that face that reminds Tetsurou of his dad. Oh no.

"I know Yaku is responsible but I doubt you are, Kuroo. So just remember to use protection."

Tetsurou groans, and drags his free hand down his face as Yaku pulls him away, and it's only when they're walking out of the park and back towards the college campus that their hands drop from their intertwined state.

"Sorry." Comes a voice from beside him, and he turns to see Yaku, hands in his pockets and looking anywhere but Tetsurou.

"Why are you apologising?"

"Because I pulled you away from everyone," Their eyes meet for only a second before Yaku pulls them away again to stare at the stretch of pavement in front of them. "I'm just so fuckin' worried about you, Tetsurou - You mean a lot to me, you know? And you've been looking so upset around me lately... is it my fault?"

"No," Tetsurou answers too fast, "It's all my fault."

"What's wrong, though? I want to help you, dude."

"You'll hate me if I tell you."

"Tetsurou."

He doesn't say anything.

"Tetsurou, look at me." He does, wary golden eyes focusing on steely brown ones. "I could never hate you, okay? Never. Please, let me help you."

Don't lie. Lying doesn't look good on you, Morisuke.

"I love you, Yaku," Tetsurou half-yells, despairing and frustrated with nobody but himself. His voice gives out halfway, and he sounds weak. Pleading. Pathetic. "I love you so fucking much! I wanna do all the gay romance shit with you, I want to hold your hand and go on dates and live together properly, you know? And it's so fucking- So fucking stupid, because you don't like me that way, and I should have just respected what we had and not fucked it up by falling in love with y-"

He's cut off with the familiar feeling of lips on his - and Yaku's kissing him. This is a complete mess, and lips touch teeth countless times and they pull away and Tetsurou might be crying, but at least it's a complete mess instead of almost one.

"You're so fuckin' stupid, baby, I've been wanting to get with you properly for so long, I fuckin'- Yeah, I fuckin' love you- Jesus Christ, I'm gonna shut up, now."

They're talking. They're complete. Has the world turned upside down?

And they're kissing again. In the middle of the street.

Complete is a feeling that Tetsurou wants to feel forever.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed - concrit is always welcome :)
> 
> come yell at me about kuroyaku:  
> tumblr: semieitamatic  
> art blog: elluleart


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